Tuesday, May 11, 2010

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird

Note to self: Next time you use a personal care product, read and follow all directions. Did you learn nothing from the teeth whitening fiasco?

Some of you may have heard my teeth whitening story, most of you haven't. No, I did not attempt to whiten them myself using products advertised on the side of the Yahoo's horoscope site. I went to the dentist and had laser whitening. The whitening process itself went splendidly...my teeth are a little whiter, do not look stained like those of a Diet-Coke-addicted 40-something year old, yet not a day-glow white that could blind a person if viewed in direct sunlight. The problem did not, in fact, have anything to do with my actual teeth - it was my lips. I had a reaction of some sort to either the cream they put on my lips to keep them from drying out during the laser treatment, or to the laser itself. The hygienist isn't sure, since she never had it happen before or since it happened to me. My lips were big. Really big. Picture Angelina Jolie's current lips + an injection or two to plump them up. I now know how Angelina stays so thin - you can't eat with lips that big. It hurts. Worse yet, you can't even drink out of a straw...you aren't able to pucker up. Maybe that's why Brad looks so angry and depressed lately...kiss free since he dumped Jennifer Aniston. So, while the lip reaction was completely not my fault, I should know to be careful with chemicals...

...after sticker shock over a pedicure up here ($28 plus tip, only one coat of polish, and no massage chair or anything extra), I decided to save myself a few bucks and do my eyebrows myself. I was coming off a successful do-it-yourself bang trim (they were relatively straight and what wasn't straight at least looked like it was meant to be a little choppy), so I thought I was up to the task. Off I went to the drug store, and after a couple minutes of perusing the shelves, opted for Veet instead of Nair (which I have used in the past). The package said "test in inconspicuous area and wait 24 hours to ensure you have no reaction" (not a direct quote, but close enough). Now, in my defense, where is there an inconspicuous area ON YOUR FACE? Especially after I had just trimmed my bangs...they no longer cover my Brooke-Shield-circa-1982 eyebrows. So, I skipped the test and watched the clock so I didn't leave it on too long. Hmmm....several very red, dry and a little painful patches - including the bulls-eye right between my eyebrows.

My advice? Don't be cheap when it comes to your face. It's worth a little money.

*Catherine Aird - according to Wikipedia, my favorite source for *almost factual* information, is a crime novelist.

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